Rowr

Ok. So my last post sounded a bit...we'll say depressing. yeah lets go with that. But yeah, things are a lot better. Life is doing better and so are me and Andrew. We talked a bit a few days ago and all is well. And we both realized that we should probably try to communicate things a bit more clearly to each other. Cause both of us love to talk, but we both seem to have a problem with discussing feelings for some reason. I blame my being to much like a guy. But whatever. We are working on it. Oh and I'm not gonna be totally bored this weekend cause Andrew is staying the weekend at my place. I talked him into it because #1 he's quitting his job at Vanity Fair to start work in two weeks at the Chef's Outlet #2 He's probably not gonna go in this weekend cause he is quitting and if he doesn't have to go to work he's not gonna #3 When he decides he's not gonna go he's gonna regret not staying cause he's gonna miss me to much and #4 because there is atomic bowling this Saturday. And he loves bowling. The thing about Atomic bowling is that it is free to us at the college on the specified night, and it's unlimited games from like 10:00 at night to about 3:00 am. And when two games for two people costs twentyone bucks, a free night of bowling is amazing. Especially if your poor. But that should be changing for Andrew soon because the job at Chefs Outlet is $0.75 more an hour then he had before. And thought thats not much more, it's enough to make a difference. So we may get to go out and do a bit more in these days to come. Oh and I'm dropping my biological psycology coarse. I'm struggling so much that it's not even funny. But thankfully they have some minimester coarses and so I signed up today for an interpersonal communication coarse. If I didn't drop that class, then my GPA would go down so much that it's not even funny. So yeah, I was willing to add it, even though this means that I've got a late night class on Monday through Thursday. But hey, still no classes on Friday, so I still get three day weekends. Woohoo to that at least. I don't have any new pictures to add to this post again. thats my bad cause I keep forgetting my camera these days. But I'm gonna start carrying it around again. And tonight I'm gonna play DDR with Tiffy and Ray, so I've got somethin to do after my art class is done. And there's not much else to tell, so I'll talk to you all later. Have fun and live life to the fullest.

It is NOT 9:17 pm!!!!!!!

It is 11:53 at night. I know this because i am still awake. I do not really want to be awake but I am, because it's what I do, and because they are STILL not done with their game. But I'm cool with it because it's not like they are running on only an hour and a half of sleep. Ok, I know, this all sounds really bitter. It kind of is, but as everyone that knows me knows that when I get really tired, depending on what stage of tired that I am on, I get goofy as fuck and end up making weird ass jokes, and then I inevitably hit the sarcastic stage. And during said sarcastic stage I usually end up sounding like a bitch even though I am not meaning to. So really, the above is not me being all grr arrrgh, I'm just a bit sarcastic, but luckily, being in college I have learned how to deal and control this little issue of mine a lot better then I used to. I just wish that I ended up with only an hour and a half of sleep because i was studying or something. Nope. I was up untill 5am with Tiff and Ray in the commons room, playing N64 and talking because I didn't want to be alone. Because if I was alone, I knew that I was going to break down crying, and the people that know me, know that I DON'T cry. God, Heather has been my best friend for something like seven years and she has NEVER seen me cry. We have chatted about this. So because I was around them, there was no way that I could cry because as always, when I am around anyone, I "cowboy up" and keep it all together. Thats just who I am. I was raised to not cry, i was raised to step up, and I was raised in a manner that has royally fucked me up, because honestly, times like this, I think that I should be allowed to cry at. But I just couldn't bring myself to it, not in front of them. I'm to strong and to stupid. The thing is, there was a misunderstanding between Andrew and I by way of texts. And next thing I know, things are being said, and, well, it's a really long story that I would rather not scribe down at this point in time. When I go home I can tell all of you if you like, but I'm not gonna put something this personal here. I'm sorry I just can't. But needless to say, I was very upset. To the point where I couldn't fall asleep until 6am, and somehow awoke at 7:30am, unable to fall back asleep. So I have been on very little sleep. Now so that all of you know, the misunderstanding has been found, brought into the open, and we have decided that we are only going to text when we need to actually convey information back and fourth. And no, the texts that were misunderstood were not of a sexual manner so don't go thinking that. But yeah, we still have to chat about a few things but we are doing much better, which I am so happy for. I don't need a guy to be happy, I know this, but the thing is, I'm so happy when I'm with him, like no matter how shit the rest of my life is, when I'm with him, everything seems to be all rite. When I'm with him, I feel like I'm safe, and that all the shit that likes to pile up is going to get resolved and that I don't need to worry. I just don't want to lose this. I don't want to lose him. The one good thing that came out of this is that when all of the shit hit the fan yesterday, I realized just how much I do love him. Just the thought of losing him pretty much killed me, and it was then that I realized just how much I've come to love him. Of coarse, I realize that this may be my downfall at some point in life. After all, life changes, nothing ever stays the same for to long. But I also realize that I would rather have this life, this happiness, this life rite now, no matter how fleeting, then to never have it at all. It has only been recently that I got that old saying, "that it is better to have loved and lost, then never to have loved at all" Sappy I know, and no, I haven't lost him yet, and "knock on wood" I wont for a long time, but no matter what happens, I am glad that I feel this way. Although at times like Sunday night, when it pretty mush killed me, I still didn't regret falling in love with him. for some reason, this feeling is just worth it. I love it. And I realize that I sound like some over dramatic, romancing life, looking-through-rose-colored-glasses, prolly-smoked-some-pot, cliched chick rite now - But sadly enough, I mean every word. I am however very tired, and would like to fall asleep if you don't mind, And the boys are evenly matched in this halo round at 21 to 21, so hopefully soon I will be in my bed, asleep, with Andrew next to me, feeling safe and warm, and so dead to the world that you will all be able to hear my snoring. Good night all. Amd remember, if you put to much soap in a dishwasher, you get bubbles all over the kitchen floor. Trust me...I'm not allowed to use the dishwasher anymore.

Thats not a joke

Check one off of my Pushin Up The Daisys list...well actually two....

Ok, so you've heard of the "Bucket List". You know, things you want to accomplish before you kick the bucket? Well, I've got a Daisy list. It;s things I want to do and accomplish before I'm pushin up the daisies. It's kind of a normal list, but with a few of those odd little things added in there to make me me. Well, number one on my bucket list is to ride on one of those mini Zambonis, the kind that they use for cleaning the floor in schools and all. I know, kind of dork, but this is me. And so I was talkin to one of the janitors there, Rick, and I mentioned that it's on my Daisy list, and he was awesome enough to give me a 2 minute course in driving one and let me drive it around the school. And of coarse, Andrew just had to take a picture of me, with all my dork hanging out. Yay me. But yes, i got one thing off of my Daisy List. Actually I realized that night that I got two off of my Daisy list, but the other is a rather personal one, so I'm not gonna go into detail on that one. That night was also the night of the colleges little Mardi Gra thing. I went for the gumbo. As you can see below, Mandi, as well as a lot of other people got into it a bit. And no she's not missing a tooth, she's licking her lips and it looks like she's missing a tooth. No really she is. Whatever.
Also, it's so funny, because Emma has uthese really strong glasses, cause she's pretty much blind. So Andrew tried them on. Now I'm telling you, when I tried them on, it was like I was suddenly in some weird Salvadore Dolly Painting, cause everything looked weird and melting and wow is she blind. Well, Andrew tried them on, and oh my god he looked like his eyes shrunk and a chunk from the side of his head went missing. These glasses are so strong that they are like magnifying glasses - in reverse. So of coarse I had to take a picture and share it with the my friends and the world. Ha ha. I told him that this was for taking pictures of the dork me on the Zamboni machine. Oh man, this night was crazy. I mean crazy. I ended up skipping my art class this night to. It's from 6:30 to 9:30, and I did not want to stay there and draw for that long. So I went to class, handed in the project that was due (i was one of only like two people that got it done already) and said that I was going to grab a cup of coffee and sketch out my next project. Well, I left, and didn't return as was previously thought. Later, at nine thirty, one of the girls that is in my class said that he was a little pissed about me leaving and not coming back. So that means that the project due by the end of next class I'm going to get done this weekend and hand in at the beginning of class, and hopefully he will forgive my little faux pau. I don't really mind missing out though. The whole night really was worth it to me, it was to much fun and was just worth missing my class for. I know that I shouldn't think that way, but hey, once in a while it's okay to skip a class for a mental health day. But hey, I do get my work done and am passing like everything but my biological psychology class. which I'm working extra hard on now to learn cause I have to pass everything. I have to go though because I told Tiff this morning that I would be hanging out with her and it prolly seems to her that I'm trying to blow her off wich is not what it is, I'm just not in a very socializing mood.

Another Post

Yeah I got bored in the lounge because everyones either playin euchre or is just not talking to anyone so I figured I'd come back down to my dorm and pop a post out for all of you. Oh my god, I can't believe it either because I actually do have people reading my blog regularly. Way back when I said what I did "about posting more because of other people reading it) as a joke, I didn't actually think that people were reading this. I mean shit! And they think that my life is entertaining. Well, I could have told you that, after all it's about my life and as anyone that knows me would tell you, my life is anything but average. I both love that and hate that, cause every once in a while, I kind of crave normal. Maybe that's why I like Andrew so much. He's got to be the most normal part of my life these days, and he himself is not normal. Imagine that. Oh by the way, I posted the pic of him in his pj's cause I think he looks incredibly goofy in them. A cute goofy, but still, I laugh. I took the pic last night, a few hours before I went to a Chinese restaurant with him and Patrick. After that he dyed my hair again, wich is the below picture. And yeah, i know....I look paler. The color was supposed to be brighter. Plus before I only had one box, and so he ended up missing some spots in my hair, so my head was tie-dye for a good week. But yeah. Um we did go out for Chinese last night. I paid for his AND my meal, but thats cool because today in a few hands of blackjack with him (all of which I won) I secured it so that when he gets his car and drives me down so that he can meet heather and we can see each other again, he has to pay for gas..... both ways......and it's an hour drive......I love black jack. Your welcome heather. Oh, what I was going to say though, was that the Chinese place, although mediocre food, was an all you can eat buffet, so the boys ate a lot more than they should have, but hey, they are growing boys, and they got there monies worth. And we had a lot of fun, talking, gossiping, making future plans. Everthing was great, making it a night that I would anjoy remembering for a long time. And then, as always, something crops up to make a sweet memory a little sour. I had to take the check up, but was lingering at the table to finish the conversation. I just started to get up when Patrick says, "Isn't that Leo?" Now for those of you that have not followed my blog all the way through (which you should because some of my earlier ones are full of things that are totally unbelievable, but entirely true) then you would know that I DON'T want to be around him, let alone see him, hear his name, think about him, or have any kind of remembrance of him in my life. So as you can guess, my ass gravitated back to my seat post haste so that I could assess teh situation and find a quick way to deal with it in a non-knife-throwing and non-screaming-calling-him-a-pencil-dick-that-will-never-grow-up-dick-wad kind of way. thankfully, I had Andrew and Patrick with me, and although Leo was with a friend of his, he was also with his pregnant girlfriend (who made it very clear that she never wanted to lay eyes on me-ever), so unless he wanted her to start bitching at him about how he told her that he wanted to be with me, then he was going to keep his mouth shut, no matter what. All the he did was glare at me as he walked by, and I looked rite at him, unblinking, and smiling. So yeah, i think I handled the situation very well. Luckily he never goes to class so I've only seen him at the college twice this semester. But hey, on a brighter note, Andrew and I have been going out for a total of three and a half weeks, so that something to be excited about! I think he deserves a medal for lasting this long. I think he deserves a congratulations for not pissing me off or being a bastard or a dick so that I'd have to drop him. Funny thing is, I think I MIGHT be falling in love with the goofy bastard. I can't be certain, after all, I've never been in love, but I don't know. It's how he makes me feel, how I feel around him, and when he's gone, the fact that when he's gone I miss him terribly, the amount that I care for and about him. I've never trusted anyone as inexplicably as I trust Andrew, there just hasn't been anyone that I could trust this much this long into knowing them. Hell, I trusted him as soon as I met him this semester. Haha, a good story for when I get home is the story of how we FIRST met. It's one of those cute little stories that couples love to tell about how they met, except this is me, so it's got a very nice twist to it. Unfortunately it's a story that I LOVE to tell, and although my written is pretty much me talking in a written down form, I prefer to tell it, that way I can get the proper amount of...hmmmm guess you could say, emotion into the story. I should probably go though. I left Loverboy in the lounge playing cards and I know that by now the game must have broken up and he's bored again. So I'll talk to all of you later. And please comment, I know that I'm a comment whore and I'm proud of it. Plus it lets me know that I can post and you won't end up missing a chunk of my story because you didn't know that I posted again. After all I'm posting a lot more now. So bye, love you all.

Yaaaarrrrrg........

I don't have to much to say, just wanted to kind of drop a line. Umm, Andrew and I are doing great, he's a bit, dare i say miffed at Ray rite now over something that he tried pulling, but everything's going to turn out fine. It's all rather minor thank fully, but I still am not liking the conflict. After all the drama that went on last semester, the last thing I want is for more drama rite now. I think that thats a bit understandable. My classes are doing pretty good. I'm struggling a bit in my Biological Psychology class but I'm slowly getting better at it. My art classes are a bit more challenging this semester to, so I don't feel as bored with them. I don't want to go sometimes but I'm not bored with them. In fact I just got a project done for my Design II class. I think that they turned out nicely. Let me know what you think of them please. I'm actually glad that they turned out as good as they did just because I hate painting so much. Not to much is really going on rite now. I'm pretty much just tryin' to survive rite now. But who isn't these days? I've actually been missing home a bit these past few days. Not my home, but all you people back home. Some days it just gets hard to deal with the people here and it seems like the only person I can deal with on a day to day basis is Andrew. Lucky him he's the only one I don't want to kill these days. Even Ray is getting on my nerves way to much. I'm hoping that this is just some kind of phase I'm going through rite now and that it will pass soon, cause I hate feeling this way. I'm sure though that maybe if I change my surroundings for a few days, or even a few hours I might feel a lot better. Luckily next weekend, my brother is going to come and get me so that I can spend some time with him and Amber and the kids. I'm looking forward to that actually, I mean I've barely been around Garry fir the past couple years, so yeah I'm excited. Also, Andrew is going to be buying a car in the beginning of march, and he's already promised to take me down one of the days so that I can see heather again. I'm really excited about that. It wasn't until the last time that I talked with Heather on the phone that I really realized how much I missed her. So pray that he can find a cheap reliable car quick. Well, i think that I'm gonna go though. I've got to do some dishes and then tomorrow I'm going to be cleaning my room and doing a bunch of laundry. SO I will chat with you all later. Have a good night.

WOW

Just a short blurb here, but it's official. Andrew now has the title of being my longest lasting boyfriend. I think that we should all give him a hand, cause we all know that I'm a bit of a handful and have a habit of being a bit hard on the guys I have. And most of the guys I get are assholes so I end up dumping them quick. So yeah, we are now, as of February 15, 2008 - a total of two weeks and a day of being together. Damn it's kinda sad that my longest relationship has only been two weeks, but still, I'd rather stick it out with a wonderful guy like Andrew than trudge through life with assholes like Leo. But, because we get along so well, and the fact that it feels so great in all directions, I do believe that this is going to last a lot longer than these two weeks. But, ending on that happy note, I do believe that I'm going to jet because a friend of mine is going to be coming tomorrow and I'd like to get my room clean. After all, Kami is gonna be sleeping in my bed, and poor Andrew is gonna be sleeping in the floor... and it's his choice so don't get all grrrrr with me. So yeah...Bye, I miss you all, and I'll see you all soon when I come home for my short week long spring break!!!

Valentines Day

It's valentines day, if you didn't already know. Now I've never been a big fan of this particular holiday. After all, it's a holiday that was manufactured by the candy companies and Hallmark to make more money. But, this is the first time that I've had a boyfriend on this day of hearts and cherubs. And I'm gonna tell ya, It's still not a big deal for me. The thing is, It's one of those holidays where you need money to celebrate it most times, and I'm not the type to try and get my boyfriend of a week and a half to go out and buy me a ring or something. I actually didn't expect him to get me anything. And seeing as how neither of us have any money, we both new that there wasn't any way that we were going to be spending any money on each other. It was a nice day for me however. After all, yet again, Andrew spent the night at my place (He's practically living with me rite now seeing that his schedule is set up so that he cant catch his bus home on Mondays and Wednesdays and needs a place to stay those nights at least). And at about eleven pm last night, we went up to the empty third floor commons room to veg on the giant comfy couches and so he could help me on my homework (biological psychology) cause half way through the giant web quizzes I normally get to the point where I just say "fuck it" and get a bad grade because I don't stick with it, so he helps me keep on focus and to not get bored and say "fuck it". So when we got my homework done, we put family guy on the plasma screen tv (score!!) and just kinda vegged out together. Then, however, he pulls out his phone. "Shit." I suddenly heard from him. I asked what was wrong and he said that it was 12:02 am. I, being blond, was like, well whats wrong you miss something? He says yes, leans in, says happy valentines day and kisses me. Honestly I think that that is much better then if he was to give me a bear or chocolate or something. It was just really sweet.

This should however cheer some of you up. Today is not really a day of hearts for me, I will always remember today in my biological psychology class because of the fact that I got to see human brains. Yep, my professor brought in four different brains, two whole, on in half, and one in slices to show us. And I'm telling you it was so surreal to see a real human brain like that. So I decided while she was lecturing my small group on it that I would take a video for you all to see, unfortunately, I can't put it on to blogger because the file is to large. To bad, because it's really cool. I do however have pictures of it for you.

Also as a little update: the whole fiasco with the alcohol at my dorm and all that jazz? I have now gotten it all worked out so it's no big deal. I had to go in to talk to the nurse at the college, and we talked about alcohol and how to notice if you have a problem and how to drink responsibly, which lasted about halve an hour, and I was finally done. So yeah, I'm all good with that as well. Do believe however that it is my time to retire, because I have yet another art class to go to tonight and I need to get all of my stuff ready. So by and have a happy valentines day.