Another One Bites The Dust or Why Not To Go Van Surfing

Tick off another boyfriend. Im up to three that have not made it. First Erik, who dumped me (asshole), then Joe, who I dumped, and now Garry, whom I also dumped. Well, not really dumped, because I was not that harsh to the poor guy, but we talked and decided that it was best that we each take some time alone, whether he wanted our relationship to end or not.
I'm getting ahead of myself a bit though. I guess that the first news should be that of the accident last Wednesday night. To make a long story short, my friend ray wanted out of the dorms, and texted a friend of his who had a car. Well, more like a van. The best way to describe it is it looked like a drug dealer van. It had the foot board and everything. Well, to cut this down to size, Ray and I were on the passenger side, and ray was talking to the driver who was his friend and so I wasnt really paying close attention to there conversation. Then Ray looked at me and said, put your feet up on the foot board and hold onto the top. .Now before you get ahead of me, I figured that Ray and the guy had done this before, you know, like he'd go 1 mile an hour for a few feet then stop and let us off, no big deal. So I stepped up and held on. The guy new that we were on and yet he sped up and took the corner hard. Both of us lost our footing and fell off. I'd be a lot worse off if it wasn't for Ray pulling me as we fell so that I landed on him. He on the other hand had some major head injuries and a punctured lung from when I landed on him. He was in the ICU for a while and he almost died on Thursday. Thankfully he is out of the hospital and at home with his parents. I am however not sure if he is coming back to college or not. He;s fully healthy now and the doctors gave him the all clear and discharged him but hes been talking on the phone like hes not coming back oor something. I don't know, its really confusing. I'm gonna find out tomorrow though cause a bunch of us are going to visit him tomorrow. I am so grateful for him pulling me like that too, cause I could have come out a lot worse then I did. After all, I just have some large scrapes on my lower face, knee and elbows. Oh and my left front tooth got chipped in half, left an exposed nerve and was pushed up into my gums a bit. It's no big deal though, cause I've got a dentist appointment this Friday and its a preliminary check up to decide what to do next and to get x-rays and all. What I've been told is that I am going to end up getting this one pulled and get an implant put in.
I actually don't care about how I look at the moment though . I still hold my head high when I'm in public and still smile just as much, which as we all know is pretty much all the time. After the accident I've felt a lot more open and even more willing to be me, and i was pretty willing before. And if my friends can believe it, I'm even louder and can voice my beliefs and views on subjects with even more gusto and with out backing down. The accident has shown me how much I can endure and deal with real emergencies. Also, theres the fact that I have survived such an accident with my full mental mind and even with my cuts and tooth that I can still function and take care of myself. I havent let anyone baby me. I've made my own food, called all the dentists in the area myself, even started classes again on Monday and got all of my homework done for them. The only classes I can't do anything in is my art classes because I don't have my glasses and am blind as a bat. My glasses should be coming in the email as soon as possible though, I'm just waiting on the company. But its really shown me that I can survive and that when it comes down to it, you have to live life to it's fullest cause you really DON'T know when it's going to end.
Now I can not say that I did not get any help though because I did. When they took me from the accident they shipped me to Strong Memorial Hospital in Rochester. Now I don't have any family in the area. So I was actually fucked when they discharged me. Luckily though I called my noe ex-boyfriend and he came and got me, and brought a change of clothes, cause they cut all of my clothes off when I was on the stretcher. And I mean ALL of them. So he brought me some of his clothes that actually fit nicely, though I needed a belt for his pants cause they were a bit loose. Also, my parents arrived at my dorm teh next day and my mom brought me some food to heat up and eat that easy to cut up and with what with my broken tooth and some milkshake stuff thats easy to eat and all. Other than that though I've had to do everything myself. I wouldn't even let Garry do normal things for me let alone cook or anything for me, which really frustrated him no end. But yeah, i feel stronger and much more confident since the accident.
Now the whole Gary thing. As some of you know I really enjoyed being with him. For the first while. And he really is a sweet guy. And I do love him in a way. he thing is though he really needs more time. You see, if I haven't explained already, his last girlfriend was his first girlfriend. Thats no big deal for me, but he was really attached to her. They went out for 14 months. And she dumped him on the day of the prom. So He's still in love with her and was mentioning her all the time. I know that he's got a lot to work through, but it was over four months ago and he still could barely stop talking about her. And he was so clingy! He was always hanging on me, laying on me and leaning on me and always had to walk with his arm around me and I could never do anything when he was around cause I couldn't move!!!!! At first it was flattering and cute but then it got annoying really fast. I mean that's called smothering. But he is a sweety and treated me very well and was there when I needed him. Thats why I did it in a really nice way and made it sound like I was the one who needed time to figure things out and work on some issues. I mean, yeah I do have a few to work on when it comes to new relationships, but they are really minor and more like some little mental tweaks I need to do. But yeah, we are still friends and we have a lot of mutual friends so we are gonna end up in the same room again which I have no big deal with. It's just a relationship that didn't really work out, and it's not like I did anything with him that I regret if ya know what I mean. And I do think that I need some time alone rite now. I mean three guys in a month and a half. Even I think, Damn thats crazy. But what happens happens ya know.
I would like to take the time rite now though to thank everyone back home that has had me in there thoughts this past week. I want you all to know that you are all alway sin my heart and I will never forget about you all no matter what happens to me here and no matter who I meet there is no replacement for any of you. So thank you all, I hope to see all of you when I come back for Thanksgiving vacation and I really do miss you all. thank you and goodnight.