my first kiss, first boyfriend and first breakup in one week- 'cause yeah I'm just that good (the radio edit)

Okay, so what happened was a bit great and a bit crap. You see, I met this guy, and I wont use his real name, so lets call him Erik. I wont give his last name because I think we all know an Erik, so why make this one specific enough that you, the reader, can not make any kind of connection to what I'm talking about.
Well, Erik was the first guy that I met that I actually wanted to go out with. He was cute, charming, funny and sweet. We had just about everything in common. We were both instantly attracted to each other on first meeting as well. And he was everything you could ever want in a man.
Well, we went out for a week. And during this week, we had a lot of fun. We watched movies together, cuddled, and not to mention he was my first kiss. So that made him special rite there. And, yes, our relationship was a little rushed and fast moving. We met Thursday afternoon and we were a couple by Thursday night. It was just that fast.
Now the thing of it is, he was initiating everything. And I mean everything in the relationship, 'cause I was a novice and didn't really know what to do, ya know? So he was starting everything. Well, and your not gonna believe this, he told me on Wednesday, this last Wednesday, that he wanted to bring the relationship back a few steps because he wasn't so used to things going as fast as they did. Now at first, being the dolt that I am, I thought that he actually meant that he wanted to take things back a bit.
At this point every girl I know is thinking the same thing: "Is Erik gay?"
And ladies, I will tell you rite now - he may be. After all, I only new him for a week, who am I to deny the accusation.
Now if this isn't bad enough, he doesn't tell me how far back he wants to go. So I'm left in the dark waiting fir him to decide. which I hated. So the next day, I meet up with him at the college to talk. Unfortunately, everyone else is there to, so its a bit hard to get to talk to him about it. Well, when we finally have a half a minute alone he tells me that he wants us to just be friends.
Now I may have been naive enough to think that when he said he wanted to take it back a few steps that he actually meant it. But those dreaded words, "why don't we just be friends?" hit home. I new at that moment that he had just dumped me.
Okay, so I was just dumped. I can deal with that. After all, it was only a week. But it was what happened next that Irked me. All of a sudden, this short, chunky, blond chick that he has to bend over at a ninety de-fuckin-gree angle to hug runs up and hugs him. Now thats no big deal, I know a lot of girls that do that to guys that they know and have no kind of actual relationship with. No big deal. But then, with me rite there, she starts to flirt with him and touch him. Now thats one thing, but then he starts flirting back. And he's giving her the same look that he used to give me! And he KNOWS I'm rite there. I was a good two inches from him.
I have one word for you, SLUT. Oh and whore and asshole. So, yeah, three words. slut, whore and asshole. In that order. And I mean Erik, not the girl.
So know I'm desperately on the hunt for a baseball bat. Thats rite - I'm going after his car. I'd take a knife with me and cut the gas line but that sounds a bit drastic. I just want to smash his car, not kill him. Oh, did I say "smash"? I meant demolish. I want it too look like the aftermath of one of those suicide bombers in Iraq.
Theres only one problem with this. And its not the need of a baseball bat cause i have friends who are willing to get me one. In fact I think that they want me do demolish his car more than I do. And Its not the getting in trouble part, 'cause it would be worth it. After all, it is the cheapest form of therapy. But no, the problem is that I cant tell his piece of crap car from all the other piece of crap cars. Its an indescribably plain black car. I've ridden in it like three times. And even after I just got out of it, I could have turned directly around and still not recognized it.
So yeah, I can't find his car to beat the shit out of it. And don't think that I am a very destructive person. In fact I would not normally do that kind of thing. The only reason I have even been pondering the thought is because he was such an asshole about it.
But listen to me, I'm getting all hostile again. And apparently hostile for me means a few broken tail lights. So I think that I had better cool off a bit.
And for every guy out there, please, don't be an Erik. Assholes, no matter how sweet, are still assholes. In fact, they are the ones that are never gonna get laid cause damn he's such an asshole. And a slut. And a whore. Not in that exact order.