Grrrr Arrrgh, Mnnnaaahhh!!!

Grrr. I hate the weather. I'm mad. And I'm also mad because I'm mad because it's a stupid thing to be mad about. Arrrrrgggghhh! ok ok. Andrew is staying the weekend with me, problem is, he's not here. After his woodsman's practice, he had plans with an old friend of his to go out to eat, I guess that they owe him a dinner or something. Now I had no problem with that, we both still have our own lives and I'm not the clingy kind that insists on going along. Thats just not me. Thing is I get a text a few hours ago from loverboy himself and the problem is, they went all the way to victor to eat, and the weathers so bad that she had to drop him off at his house out there because she couldn't make it back out here. So yeah, I'm mad because I really want to be with him tonight. I mean, I got to see him a total of like 20 minutes today because I have no classes and was up till 5:30am last night, and so I slept in till about 11:00am, went to the college to get him cause he brought me food (ain't he sweet?) and we had to put it away, cause eggs break and get all messy. So we got to my place and put everything away, talked for about five minutes, then he went back to the college while I took a shower. I gpt at the college at about 1:45pm, problem is, he has woodsman's practice at 2:00pm and then directly after he was leaving. for his dinner. Now I thought that I was gonna get to see him tonight, so it was no big deal that I wasn't with him today. And now because of the weather....Well I'm kind of mad at myself because I would have made more of an effort had I known that tonight wasn't gonna happen. My only consolation is that he's getting a ride here tomorrow, so we should have the rest of the weekend with him, And we are going bowling tomorrow night so theres that to. Oh I got to see a hypnotist today to. It was a free show at the college suits. It was really cool. I'll talk about it some other time though, when I'm not in such a bad mood. I hate though that not being able to be with him makes me so mad. I never let people make me that mad just because they are not here, let alone to let a guy affect me that way. sigh, I just want him to be here. That week I go home is gonna suck cause I'm g0nna miss him so much. It's already gotten so that it's hard for me to fall asleep and stay asleep when he's not here. It takes me like an extra hour to sleep when he's not there. And when he's not here I have a problem with my physical safety to. My problem is that ever since the accident, I have a problem with falling. Like when I start to fall, I flash back on the accident, all the visuals. It's not a good thing. Well, when he stays over, he sleeps on the outside so I don't worry about falling off the bed. And of coarse I always fall asleep leaning on him with his arms around me. Thing is, when he's not there, next to me, no matter how close to the wall I fall asleep at, I end up close to the edge, like so close that I wake up 2 to 3 times a night because I catch myself as I start to fall off the bed. And the flashes are always worse when I wake up because I'm falling off of my bed. So yeah, I feel a lot more safe when he's there to say the least. Plus I just love being with him. Haha it makes me laugh to because I was talking online with heather through my microphone and speakers and all, so I could here her and she could here me, and Andrew's head was like rite next to me. And he was playing Assassins Creed on the X-Box 360 that we barowed from Tiff, and Heather wasn't always paying attention so I'd do my high pitched whistle to get said attention. Well, I kept forgetting that Andrew's head and ear was rite next to me, so he started getting ticked off at me for the whistling, so he started doing what he does and thats to make smart ass comments (sound like anyone you know?? Like me??), and of coarse, Heather could here every word, and continued to say that he was annoying and some other mean things. It was so funny for me cause heather tries to get so mean, and she just doesn't sound mean at all. It's so funny. But yeah. I'm gonna go now. Playing some DDR EX2, and soon some more multi-player Halo 3. But yeah, I think I'm gonna go and try to forget the fact that Andrew may not be here this weekend. But hey, I've got Ray and Tiff and Peter here making me feel better by just not letting me be depressed anymore. So have a goodnight and talk to me later.